Breaking News

soddenham-saxon-burial

Recently discovered in the corner of the old Mulgrew field next to the lichen orchard is a large  earthen mound, currently suspected to be some sort of Saxon burial site. Attention was first brought to the mound last Wednesday when local literary luminary and raconteur Unwin S. Schreiber stumbled across it whilst taking his evening constitutional around the village.

Unwin S. Schrieber
Unwin S. Schreiber

When asked about the discovery, he waxed lyrical about the wonders of mankind in his customary fashion for some time, before embarking upon the story of the time when he and Sir Jeffery had hatched the idea to embark on a literary quest to find the lost treasure of King John. Following a draught of Drewery’s Extra Strength (for medicinal purposes of course) Unwin managed to piece together the events of that evening:

“In my role of village literary luminary it is my routine to… no, my responsibility to take in the village from all angles – social, natural,  physical and metaphysical, that sort of thing.  I take the air in every kind of weather and at any time of the day or night when my muse arouses me and the village beckons. That night I had been in The Teat, exchanging witty banter and trading quips with fellow intellect Anmer Pardow and Landlord Bernie Tooley. It was something Bernie said that first piqued my curiosity. He had regaled us with a tale of childhood derring-do, that took place in Mulgrew’s field along with Les Taret and Bernies brother Toby. I don’t recall the detail but  can say that it was very entertaining. Later, as I was about to leave, Anmer mentioned something from the tale that concerned getting a wedgie in the Mulgrew field, which raised a few  coarse laughs across the bar and I bid my farewell.”

For the purposes of this post, the rest of the interview is abridged from this point as we do not wish to exceed our strict word count limit set by the European Internet Confederation (EIC).

“I decided to make my way home via Mulgrews field to reacquaint myself with this forgotten corner of the village. At some point I had become fatigued by my late journey and searched for somewhere to take a rest. I followed the hedging to the corner hoping to find a gate, style or storage box, when I felt the ground beneath me rise and I tumbled backwards and found solace in the soil. It was some time later when I came to, and as the darkness lessened its grip and the morning showed its intention to bless us with another day, I took stock of the situation in which I found myself. I was indeed in the farthest  southern corner of the field and before me was this brooding mound of earth…  overcome by a deep connection with past lives… a profound sense of loss and mourning… a cracking headache, nausea and a most unpleasant dampness.”

A number of villagers turned out to see this new curiosity, and indeed, many of them had never even set foot in this field before. It was soon decided to set up a committee to investigate the mound, and several key figures were proposed and seconded. The Soddenham Archeology Society was set up and immediately merged with the Sucrologists Club, as most of the proposed were already members  in that esteemed organisation.  The Soddenham Archeologists and Sucrologists were formed and a map was commissioned to document this new find.

soddenham-map-mulgrew-field

The inaugural meeting was on the Tuesday night immediately after the discovery, where, in the absence of any other possible explanation for the mound, it was decided that it could very well be a Saxon Burial Mound.

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2 thoughts on “Breaking News

  1. A most curious happening indeed, good old uncle Unwin for inadvertently stumbling on this historic relic from a bygone age. Was Mr Pardow present at the viewing, no doubt he had some interesting speculations of the mound and it’s origins.

  2. This is truly exciting stuff! Anmer is the secretary of the Soddenham Archeologist and Sucrologist Club and I can confirm that he has already made a preliminary examination of the site and is coordinating a scientific study – we’ll keep you informed as it progresses…

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